My mom is working on what she is calling a booklet about her mother's family. Earlier this year, there was talk about a family reunion some time this summer and she decided that she would compile all of the information that we (she) has in a 'booklet' for everyone to have a copy of. This, like most projects my family undertakes, became a snowball rolling down a hill. What started out as a simple compilation has turned into a major undertaking. I'm not complaining; after all, I will be a beneficiary of the finished product. Also, I think it's one of those instances when we should be thankful we have so much information that we can't fit it into a simple 'booklet' of one half to one page per person. The fact is, we have a LOT of information on this family: pictures, stories, documents. It is easily two pages per person plus pictures. But, this post isn't about how much information we have or what a big project it turned out to be. It's about what to include in a publication of this kind.
Everyone has 'skeletons' in their family trees. It could be an illegitimate child, an illicit affair, a scoundrel, a murder, anything that might be considered scandalous. Things that weren't acceptable a hundred, fifty, or even twenty years ago are completely acceptable by society's standards today. We don't hardly blink at an unwed pregnancy or an older woman marrying a younger man anymore. However, at one time those things were sufficient cause to be ostracized and definitely hidden or not talked about by families. Sometimes, the stories were whispered about and passed down from generation to generation orally. If you're lucky, there are records somewhere that give you the information that you need to confirm the facts and complete your family tree.
While doing this booklet, my mom struggled with whether to include some of the information that we have. There's a supposed illegitimate child, an unfortunate marriage and divorce, and a possible bigamist, just to mention a few. Her quandary was whether or not to mention these things in her sketches about these people. Some of the things she wasn't sure about were common knowledge and some weren't. Most of it wouldn't affect living people in any way; it involved people and their children long dead. But what about the stuff that would affect people still living? Even if they weren't directly involved, it concerned a parent, grandparent, or cousin. While none of it was exactly earth shattering, it would probably change the way some people think about those people. Several of the stories that we have recorded aren't very complimentary to the person they are about. So, what do you include and what do you leave out? Because, face it, as genealogists, we don't throw any scrap of information away. It's our job to research, record, and share our family's information.
In the end, she decided not to include anything that was just a negative theory. She pretty much stuck strictly to the facts. The unflattering stories weren't included because we had plenty of other information we were able to use. The unfortunate marriage and divorce was a second marriage that had no children and lasted less than two years so she didn't mention it. It was just a matter of what felt right to us. Of course, we have all of this information in our notes and if it should ever be needed or someone wants to know about it, we'll be glad to share it.
I think it all comes down to whether the information is going to hurt, embarrass, or anger someone living. If it is, leave it out but keep it in your research notes. Sometimes those tidbits are what direct us to the documents or people we need to prove a connection. Not everything is meant for public consumption so be aware of how what you publish will affect the living-the dead don't care.
Every family has skeletons in the closet and hidden treasures to be found; I hope to discover all of mine!
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